Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Camp Gannon 08222008 & 08302008
Gannon, 08222008 (Stream-of Consciousness Alert!)
Some people went to Al-Qaim today. I watched more Olympics. Around noon, I nuked a small pizza. Plenty of carbs for me. I wonder if my nutrition will suffer from being here- the food is mainly sugars and carbs. Tons of breakfast cereal next to a freezer of individual pizzas. The fridge has full-strength Gatorade, Cokes and fruit juices loaded with corn syrup. A huge box of candy is there, in case the above aren't tasty enough. Bread and bagels are above the freezers. I saw some frozen veggies, so I may go with that. Kinda tasteless, but better than nothing. The chow hall has apples. Not wonderful apples, but adequate. I ignore the brown spots in the apples and they don't taste funny. The new gunny asked me if I'd act as a driver for them on Sunday on a road trip to Al-Qaim. I told him "Sure!" I'm looking forward to doing something useful. Playing hearts and watching the Olympics has a limit. So I may drive a Hummvee in two days. Today after the 0800 meeting, we went under the camo canopy and stood around for a bit, waiting for an awards ceremony. I took some pictures and later on, offered them to the logistics SSG. He said when his computer is ready, he'll use them. The old Doc gave me a sling so I don't have to carry my rifle in my hand when I'm not wearing IBA. Curiously, the Marines refer to this as "the flak jacket" for reasons I haven't yet discovered. Maybe it's the sound that's more attractive. Or three stressed syllables are less conducive to communication than two. The old Doc fixed some Top Ramen with a bit of sausages and some frozen mixed veggies. Very tasty. He's a good guy, works hard and will go back to Corpus Christy and look for a GS-12 job after this deployment. He wants to be the purchasing logistics guy for the hospital. He got an award from this detachment, and that can't hurt his chances of getting hired in Texas.
I may go do a laundry tonight after I take a shower. I'm running out of clothes. I have enough for one more day, then I'll have to run around without underwear, though I can still have clean socks for a couple more days. Maybe I'll ask Richie to send me some of mine from home. I'm afraid if I do, he'll send me a gazillion, and all I really want is one or two. This afternoon, I went over to the internet cafe and replied to Johnny's email. He's working at the airport in Basrah. Good on him. I told him that if he liked boredom, he could come here. Being here is difficult enough; being useless just puts a worse spin on the difficulty. I told Johnny about my mantra, "Four twenty four."
Maybe chow was a good thing. Gotta keep a psychic eye open for cycles in one's life- things were pretty depressing this afternoon. At evening chow, I ran into Ernie, the other DynCorp contractor, and his friend Vince. The Major from their group, Jeff Daniels, sat with us for chow. A good meal. Rice, something my stomach likes, and barbecue-flavored pork chops with a large dollop of boiled peas. I had a diet Sprite and a small can of mixed fruit. I probably ate more carbs than I needed, but the meal was good. The company was good. I helped Ernie stuff garbage into bags and carry it to a trailer in their area. Ernie said that he gets along great with his group. I told him that my old group's collective mind was somewhere else and the new group was not yet certain of their pattern. Two more days and the old group will be gone.
I suspect I'll be among those going to the port on their first actual mission. The Gunny who'd asked if I could drive said that I won't be going to Al-Qaim on Sunday to drop off the old group. Pity. I was sorta looking forward to doing something, even just sweating in a Hummvee for an hour each way. Tonight, after chow and a wag-bag session, I sat in the MWR and watched a pirated version of "Mr. Woodcock" with some other guys. You could tell the movie was pirated because the picture wasn't great and because you frequently saw people standing up and moving across the screen as they left their seats, walking around. KK, 'nuff blither.
I think I'll read the third of three separate paperbacks I have to read. Seems like this group is more into movies and Olympics than real reading. John Lescroart's "The Suspect" still has a good inch and a quarter to go. When I'm done with this, I'll swap it with something Ernie has. Gannon 08292008Gee, has it been a week already since my last post? Time flies when you're bored out of your gourd. Maybe I can work my way backwards and see what's been happening. As of 1600 today, I repaired the striker on the door to our swahut. (Not sure of the spelling, but that's what we call these big ol' plywood tents that we live in. Mine has eight "rooms." Each is about seven feet by five or six feet. Just big enough for a bunk bed and a footlocker. Of course, we all customized our areas with cubbies or shelves. I took a few pix so look in Gannon08292008 for them. I'm sneezing because I have a cold. Started out as a sore throat about three or four days ago. The Doc gave me some Cepacol lozenges that work, but only while I have on in my mouth. KK, back to the door- it had a huge gap at the striker. I couldn't figure out why there was so much gap because the striker looked pretty tight towards the stop. Turns out, it was too tight. The latch wasn't going into the hole in the striker, it was backing out and catching on the trim piece outside. So I took off the striker and marked the correct location with a pen (no pencil here). Then I used my handy-dandy, all-purpose home-made knife to whittle away the offending wood. Took a bit, but I got it right the first time. Now it's snug at the bottom, but still has a bit of a gap at the top because the wall has a noticeable warp in it.
Today I also did my TLS for DynCorp. Ernie from the BTT next door said he saw someone had done it all for him, except today. So I added one day, clicked "save," and then submitted it. Hopefully DynCorp will get it right and pay me. Last night I sent out the SitRep for DynCorp, emailing it to the Major, who will forward it to DynCorp if he finds no OpSec violative stuff. I think it's sanitary. No names, no dates, no identifiable details- "Did some good stuff somewhere with some folks sometime." Well, maybe just a wee bit more detail than that. But not much. Oh, this morning I repaired the broom that I broke. If I had a real drill index, I'd drill out the broom handle and reinforce the whittled part with a bit of steel. But I don't, so I can't, and I don't think the broom will last very long. Two of our terps are going to Tripole. One seems OK with going, the other wants to stay. Moving them seems a surprise. No one likes surprises. Been eating brekkie- yesterday 'twas powdered eggs with frozen sausages and french toast that I skipped because of the carbs. and today 'twas powdered eggs with some steak and a bit of potatoes, black beans and some chili seasoning. I looked for hot coffee, but found none. So I washed my steak down with orange juice from a box. Or maybe it was grapefruit juice. I'm not going back to look through the trash for my old box. (He said with a mischievous grin)
Ten months from now, I should be home, EOM for me. I'll have to see what my finances and other compelling situations are like then. If I thought I didn't need the money, I'd go back today. The guys are mostly good, but this is no place for an antique geezer like me. The middle-aged guys have dads who are younger than I am; the younger ones have grandfathers my age. My mantra works. But I don't know if I can last the whole year. It still chaps my hide (that's a good expression, no?) that DynCorp wants me to take that second vacation *at my own expense* but won't let me use it at the end of my contract. Oh, that sure would be nice, wouldn't it? go home for Thanksgiving, then tough it out until May 27, and go home then. Money would be the same. No one gets financially hurt. No one gains. It's a wash. But the earth would spring a huge crack and the world would come to an end if I worked through my second vacation and left here 28 days early.
The two CBP guys laugh because they're here only for six months. Gee, if I had thought I'd end up here, I should have not retired, just come over and make tons of HR22. Oh well ... What else? Sent my SitRep, right? Also an assessment of some sort. In each I cited the lack of internet as the biggest shortcoming here. Oh, there are plenty of wrong elements. It's hot, it's dusty, we have no flush toilets, gotta eat snacks for one meal a day, gotta take "navy showers" where you use about 30 seconds of water, soap up, 30 more seconds to rinse and you're done. And let's not forget the ever-lovely wag bag situation. But all of that would be palatable except for the lack of internet. I'm pissed because the MSW "trial" that came with this laptop expired, while I am here. I can't get online, so I can't 1) surf for Open Office (which is free and supposed to be as good as MSOffice) or 2) let Bill Gates gouge me for $$$ so my laptop will have Word and Excel. Day before yesterday? I dunno. Before that? Ditto. I sit around under the canopy, chat with the terps and marines. I have found that the red electrolyte stuff with no sugar isn't too bad. So I drink that. I fret about doing laundry before they run out of water. No water would also make it difficult to shower. I'm eating better with the brekkies.
Maybe the highlight of my day is dinner. Whatever they serve, I eat. I just go easy with the pasta and bread. Gatorade has too many carbs, but this place has oceans of Gatorade. Water is OK, but kinda tasteless. Maybe I should look more often at this log. Or journal. I can't believe it's been a week since I wrote. 1630. Maybe I should go wait to check my mail. Seems like it's always crowded there. The eight terminals were always busy. Now that someone took away four computers, it's not going to be easier to get online. We keep hoping that the setup we have here will get repaired and *maybe* someone will put up a wireless router so we can have internet in our hooches. That would be sweet. But the logistical and admin hurdles are plentiful and high. Or maybe I'll kick Chess Titan's butt some more.
Gannon 08302008
Last night I decided to write down what I'd like, my own wee personal "Best of all Possible Worlds." So here goes- In ten months, I'd like to be home with a chunk of cash- maybe as much as $70K of my own money. I'd rest up a bit, then take my trailer to Texas and find a suitable domicile, sort of like the one I saw online in Llano- $116K for a 1200 sf Spanish-style home with five acres. Buy it, settle in and return to California to do something with my house and stuff. The stuff part is easier, so I'll begin with that. I'd need to get a 40' trailer on a chassis and park it in the driveway so I could load it with all my garage. Whatever space is left over can be for the stuff I want- my bed, some storage stuff, maybe the dining room furniture. I recall we packed a lot of HHG in four lift vans that came out of a container. Cars? Well, that might require a second container. Stop a second and look at the costs- about $2500 for a container, about $3000 to drive it to Texas. So about $11K to take two containers. That's expensive. But the good part is, I'd have two containers to use as the basis for constructing another home. And I'd have all my stuff.
In this best world scenario, I'd also have Richie and Kimmie to help make the move. We'd put the Biscayne and the LTD in one container, tow the Mazda with the 4-Runner and tow the Volvo with the F-100. That second container could also carry the last of our stuff from the house. What to do with the house? I'd prefer to rent it, so any appreciation would accrue to me and my heirs. And in only 27 years or so, we'd own this bit of the California Dream. (Never mind that I could have owned it a few years ago but for Bonnie's insistance that we *not* pay off the mortgage.) Selling is an act that can't be undone; renting today doesn't mean I can't sell at a future date. Selling today would mean about zero in equity. Renting might entail a monthly negative cash flow. The financial kicker is- can I afford three big expenses: 1) Bonnie's monthly vig (about $800), 2) negative cash flow from the rental of the house (from $1000 to maybe $400) and a mortgage on the Texas house (I probably won't have $116K to buy the house, so I may have a $50K mortgage there, too.) Let's say I have a $500 negative cash flow and a $400 Texas mortgage and Bonnie's $800 vig- that's $1700. My retirement is about $2800. That would leave me with about $1100 to live on. Not a lot, but doable. And I haven't touched my $40K in TSP. And I haven't yet received my inheritance from Gerty's house. Either of those would make my life a lot easier. And in another ten months from 08/2009, my vig will evaporate, so I'd only need to scrimp for less than a year. In July 2010, I'd get to keep about $2700 of my $2800. Who knows? The negative cash flow might get smaller and I could pay down more of my Texas mortgage.
Two people I have to consider in all this are Richie and Kimmie. If Richie should get a good job (or even a mediocre one), he'd be able to pay $1500/month (about half the mortgage) which would be cheap for a place to rent. He and Kimmie could just keep on living where we are living. Best of all worlds, she gets a job, too, and contributes more. If Richie could pay half the mortgage and Kimmie could pay half the expenses, I think we'd be fine just staying where we are. They could get married and have babies. I'd get to be a grandpa to some very cute children. Oh, I'd probably wait till my vig went away, but I'd still take my trailer to Texas, though I might just park it for a few months now and then instead of buying something. Maybe parking it would give me a chance to shop for a real deal in real estate. But back to Richie and Kimmie working- this would be very good for all of us. I'd find a way to "sell" him a part of the house, so he could have some equity. Maybe in a few years, he'd want to buy me out. At least he'd have a good place to live (and the house is a very nice place to live.) And we have a comfortable life there- we go to the farmer's markets in Hayward, Castro Valley and San Leandro, we shop carefully for stuff on craigslist, we fix our cars ourselves (mostly), and we have a good home. Richie's smoker is there, the clothes line works, the garden gets tended, we have a fireplace for cold nights, the cats know where they live, we get good TV and internet, there are plenty of bathrooms for the three of us, about one per person, and I'd even take the trouble to put in a gas line so we could cook with a gas stove. RMS is nearby for me and Richie and Kimmie may go back for another SRS slash Action in the Lowe Countries. We have a good life.
I can't force Richie and Kimmie to work. I believe they are looking for work, but they also have no severe financial incentive to succeed. As long as I'm working, they get supported by me. In fact, if they find a job tomorrow, that would be one more consideration for me- do I want to finish my contract or just leave and work out our support and finances among my retirement and their job(s)?
But back to the Great Gannon Dream: I propose that what we have in Hayward we could have in Texas. Five acres is a nice bit of land. One home already there, one more made from containers. A garage? More containers. Garden? Oh, you betcha! The cats may even get adjusted to the new place. TV, internet, yadda yadda-those are available in Texas, too. 'Twould be some work to get as comfy as we are in Hayward, but life is about work. Gotta have goals and achievments.
I also consider three others- Bonnie, Pense and Schaffe. Bonnie has made a lot of conscious choices, uniformly poorly. Pense has chosen to side with her mom in many ways for reasons that are complicated. Schaffe is the youngest, and for whom I feel more responsible because he seems to have lost out on the ability to grow up. Schaffe will have a place with me for a long time. Not because he's incapable or unable to support himself (though he is for the moment) but because he needs me to grow up. He's not going to grow up with Bonnie's parenting alone. Pense seems better, but she, too, chooses to remain dependent on Bonnie in a lot of ways. So where are Bonnie, Pense and Schaffe in this fantasy? Well, in one version, they're with me in Texas, along with Richie and Kimmie and their children. This situation would happen when Bonnie's income (mainly her share of my retirement) becomes inadequate to support her in the lifestyle to which she's accustomed herself or in any other lifestyle. Would I want to support them? I'll have to see. But it wouldn't be easy for me to abandon any of them if they needed me.
'Tis one thing to be tough in family court and another to deny them whatever comfort I could provide.
In a practical sense, if they find that their expenses are three times their income, they'll need a place to live. That *might* be with me, on my five-acre home. I might let them pitch a tent for awhile, just to underline that their spendthrift ways have brought them to financial despair. But in reality, I would try to accommodate them. I'd have the small home and the trailer. The three of them could sleep in the trailer while the rest of us slept in the house. And if I had completed the container-based home, that would also be an option.
Similarly, if Richie and Kimmie get jobs and contribute to the Hayward home, we might allow the other three to live with us there. The effect of Bonnie moving back to a home she left *as a dependent* would be intense. None of us are very good at biting our individual tongues. Who would tell Bonnie that there are rules? Who'd intimate that her financial ruin is due to her fiscal foolishness? And would Kimmie make a point of being the Lady of the House while Bonnie would be merely the impoverished in-law? I think Richie and Kimmie could have the master bedroom. Schaffe could have my room, perhaps infusing himself with my aura. Bonnie and Pense, two emotional clones, would have to share Richie and Kimmie's room (where Richie and Kimmie lived happily for a long time) and I'd have the option of sleeping in the sewing room with some clutter or in my trailer where I'm confident I could be quite comfortable. (After all, I'd have my own bed, toilet, shower, kitchen and two televisions. The garage and garden would still be my domain, though Kimmie would have free access to the garden and Richie to the garage. Moving back in with me would demonstrate to Schaffe that laziness and sloth are not as good at providing for oneself as work and thrift. And if Bonnie moves back in, I'd have some big-ass televisions to put up in the house. I might charge her rent, payable in televisions. After the rent is used up, I may buy a car from her and allow her to pay me her rent from that price. Once she's out of cars, we'll see about buying her inherited Auntie Rosie's house. Not sure I want it, but it might have some value on the real estate market. Of course, it's also possible that Bonnie will have already lost the house through one refinance or another. Removing them, if life becomes difficult, could be a problem. If Bonnie tried the "I have tenant's rights" business, that would gall me a lot. But going down that road requires the long-range crystal ball. Right now, mine is very short-range. Fantasies glow rosy in my crystal ball.
So there we are- either continuing to live in Hayward with Richie and Kimmie's contributions or taking whatever cash stash I have and moving to Texas. Remaining in Hayward requires little logistical planning- just keep living where we have been happy. Moving to Texas (or somewhere other than Hayward) will be difficult- finding a good place, packing and transporting a big houseful of stuff and starting a new life, with our without Richie and Kimmie. Somehow, having Richie and Kimmie in my future seems a good thing. They've become my family. This takes us to the strictly emotional realm but merits a few synapses worth of effort.
Before Iraq, the three of us were happy together. We ate, slept, worked and played together. Though not 100% free of stress, we were mostly happy. We get along. Kimmie and Richie are a couple; I'm a single. But we feel like we can trust each other and not be embarassed with each other. Defining what a family has can be difficult. We're not a traditional family. But we are emotionally a family. Richie likes to visit Kimmie's mom and stepdad, but it's about visiting, not living with them. I believe Richie likes living with me and I'm pretty sure I like living with him. Richie finds fault with me but he loves me. And it's about coming home in the evening and having someone there tell you "I love you" with some sincerity that makes a house a home. Kimmie lets me get close to her, but I'll never be her dad. Maybe that's better, because I can remain Rich, whoever that might be. If we had another $2000/month, I think we could be fine together, just the three of us, right where we are. But I can't plan my future based on someone else's behavior. If Richie and Kimmie don't find jobs, then my life probably won't remain in Hayward. Thus the Texas connection. I believe I could afford to live in Texas on what I'd have left after Bonnie's vig, the negative cash flow from renting my house and a small mortgage for the house in Texas. Since this is still a fantasy, let's continue in that vein: I'd like to have photovoltaic power for my trailer so I could run the trailer without electrical hook-up. Still need water and sewer, right? Gotta touch base with the locals there, but I could dig a septic tank and drill a well. Power for the well might be a problem but might be soluble with a few $$$ thrown at the problem. Ditto the water and sewer. And the occasional tank of propane would cost, too. Could I learn to cook on a wood stove and heat water for my shower in a wood-fired water heater? Maybe. Not sure I'd have to go all-out back-to-the-earth hippie-style "drop out of the world" mentality. With about $1000/month, I think utilities would be a soluble problem. But making some of my own resources appeals to me. And this is a lot about emotional stuff and what appeals to me. I have a few square feet of roof above Last Resort- would that suffice to power lights? Probably. If I build a house out of containers, we're talking about increments of 320 square feet of roof, easily used for PV panels. Probably more than enough space, but the cost of the panels becomes a factor. And the house in Llano probably already has utilities of some sort in place. No need to change much, though a solar water pre-heater might be an economical idea. At least a project for the frugal homeowner, no?I could end this train of thought right now, but I'll summarize and come back to it another time. Staying in Hayward is simpler but requires some additional regular income. Without that income, moving somewhere else seems unavoidable. If it's Merced or Grass Valley or somewhere similarly a couple of hours away, it'll still be more expensive than I can afford. Affordable pretty much means somewhere a couple of days away. Could I find someplace east of Bakersfield? Maybe. But would I want to live there? It used to be all about proximity to Schaffe, with the concomitant access to my small son. I'm getting to where his future seems beyond my control, so access (and the daddy-like "here's how to live your life" influence) seem more and more remote. Thus my focus may be more on being comfortable in my old age than in being near and being a positive influence on my small son. And I can't ignore the possibility of having Richie and Kimmie live with me if they don't find jobs. I really hope they do. But I'm comfortable enough with them around me that if they want to live frugally, the three of us could survive on my retirement. Would I have more disposable income of my own if I didn't support them? Sure. But I'd rather support them and have them around me as my family than just count my bank balance with them 2500 miles away. And maybe even Bonnie, Pense and Schaffe fall into that category. One of the wiser things I learned from going through the divorce is that you can only stress yourself if you stress over a failure to control someone else's behavior. I love Richie and Kimmie enough that their work behavior (meaning they don't have jobs) isn't enough to make me abandon them. Pense and Schaffe, too. I am still very pissed with Bonnie, but I don't know that I'm so pissed I'd not help her if she needed it. I'd just have to be very, very careful with what I tell her and how I give her anything. What are the factors here? Money. Location. Mortgages. People. Responsibility. My age. Vehicles. Stuff. Behavior. Ah, the whole thing goes on and on, doesn't it?
Some people went to Al-Qaim today. I watched more Olympics. Around noon, I nuked a small pizza. Plenty of carbs for me. I wonder if my nutrition will suffer from being here- the food is mainly sugars and carbs. Tons of breakfast cereal next to a freezer of individual pizzas. The fridge has full-strength Gatorade, Cokes and fruit juices loaded with corn syrup. A huge box of candy is there, in case the above aren't tasty enough. Bread and bagels are above the freezers. I saw some frozen veggies, so I may go with that. Kinda tasteless, but better than nothing. The chow hall has apples. Not wonderful apples, but adequate. I ignore the brown spots in the apples and they don't taste funny. The new gunny asked me if I'd act as a driver for them on Sunday on a road trip to Al-Qaim. I told him "Sure!" I'm looking forward to doing something useful. Playing hearts and watching the Olympics has a limit. So I may drive a Hummvee in two days. Today after the 0800 meeting, we went under the camo canopy and stood around for a bit, waiting for an awards ceremony. I took some pictures and later on, offered them to the logistics SSG. He said when his computer is ready, he'll use them. The old Doc gave me a sling so I don't have to carry my rifle in my hand when I'm not wearing IBA. Curiously, the Marines refer to this as "the flak jacket" for reasons I haven't yet discovered. Maybe it's the sound that's more attractive. Or three stressed syllables are less conducive to communication than two. The old Doc fixed some Top Ramen with a bit of sausages and some frozen mixed veggies. Very tasty. He's a good guy, works hard and will go back to Corpus Christy and look for a GS-12 job after this deployment. He wants to be the purchasing logistics guy for the hospital. He got an award from this detachment, and that can't hurt his chances of getting hired in Texas.
I may go do a laundry tonight after I take a shower. I'm running out of clothes. I have enough for one more day, then I'll have to run around without underwear, though I can still have clean socks for a couple more days. Maybe I'll ask Richie to send me some of mine from home. I'm afraid if I do, he'll send me a gazillion, and all I really want is one or two. This afternoon, I went over to the internet cafe and replied to Johnny's email. He's working at the airport in Basrah. Good on him. I told him that if he liked boredom, he could come here. Being here is difficult enough; being useless just puts a worse spin on the difficulty. I told Johnny about my mantra, "Four twenty four."
Maybe chow was a good thing. Gotta keep a psychic eye open for cycles in one's life- things were pretty depressing this afternoon. At evening chow, I ran into Ernie, the other DynCorp contractor, and his friend Vince. The Major from their group, Jeff Daniels, sat with us for chow. A good meal. Rice, something my stomach likes, and barbecue-flavored pork chops with a large dollop of boiled peas. I had a diet Sprite and a small can of mixed fruit. I probably ate more carbs than I needed, but the meal was good. The company was good. I helped Ernie stuff garbage into bags and carry it to a trailer in their area. Ernie said that he gets along great with his group. I told him that my old group's collective mind was somewhere else and the new group was not yet certain of their pattern. Two more days and the old group will be gone.
I suspect I'll be among those going to the port on their first actual mission. The Gunny who'd asked if I could drive said that I won't be going to Al-Qaim on Sunday to drop off the old group. Pity. I was sorta looking forward to doing something, even just sweating in a Hummvee for an hour each way. Tonight, after chow and a wag-bag session, I sat in the MWR and watched a pirated version of "Mr. Woodcock" with some other guys. You could tell the movie was pirated because the picture wasn't great and because you frequently saw people standing up and moving across the screen as they left their seats, walking around. KK, 'nuff blither.
I think I'll read the third of three separate paperbacks I have to read. Seems like this group is more into movies and Olympics than real reading. John Lescroart's "The Suspect" still has a good inch and a quarter to go. When I'm done with this, I'll swap it with something Ernie has. Gannon 08292008Gee, has it been a week already since my last post? Time flies when you're bored out of your gourd. Maybe I can work my way backwards and see what's been happening. As of 1600 today, I repaired the striker on the door to our swahut. (Not sure of the spelling, but that's what we call these big ol' plywood tents that we live in. Mine has eight "rooms." Each is about seven feet by five or six feet. Just big enough for a bunk bed and a footlocker. Of course, we all customized our areas with cubbies or shelves. I took a few pix so look in Gannon08292008 for them. I'm sneezing because I have a cold. Started out as a sore throat about three or four days ago. The Doc gave me some Cepacol lozenges that work, but only while I have on in my mouth. KK, back to the door- it had a huge gap at the striker. I couldn't figure out why there was so much gap because the striker looked pretty tight towards the stop. Turns out, it was too tight. The latch wasn't going into the hole in the striker, it was backing out and catching on the trim piece outside. So I took off the striker and marked the correct location with a pen (no pencil here). Then I used my handy-dandy, all-purpose home-made knife to whittle away the offending wood. Took a bit, but I got it right the first time. Now it's snug at the bottom, but still has a bit of a gap at the top because the wall has a noticeable warp in it.
Today I also did my TLS for DynCorp. Ernie from the BTT next door said he saw someone had done it all for him, except today. So I added one day, clicked "save," and then submitted it. Hopefully DynCorp will get it right and pay me. Last night I sent out the SitRep for DynCorp, emailing it to the Major, who will forward it to DynCorp if he finds no OpSec violative stuff. I think it's sanitary. No names, no dates, no identifiable details- "Did some good stuff somewhere with some folks sometime." Well, maybe just a wee bit more detail than that. But not much. Oh, this morning I repaired the broom that I broke. If I had a real drill index, I'd drill out the broom handle and reinforce the whittled part with a bit of steel. But I don't, so I can't, and I don't think the broom will last very long.
Ten months from now, I should be home, EOM for me. I'll have to see what my finances and other compelling situations are like then. If I thought I didn't need the money, I'd go back today. The guys are mostly good, but this is no place for an antique geezer like me. The middle-aged guys have dads who are younger than I am; the younger ones have grandfathers my age. My mantra works. But I don't know if I can last the whole year. It still chaps my hide (that's a good expression, no?) that DynCorp wants me to take that second vacation *at my own expense* but won't let me use it at the end of my contract. Oh, that sure would be nice, wouldn't it? go home for Thanksgiving, then tough it out until May 27, and go home then. Money would be the same. No one gets financially hurt. No one gains. It's a wash. But the earth would spring a huge crack and the world would come to an end if I worked through my second vacation and left here 28 days early.
The two CBP guys laugh because they're here only for six months. Gee, if I had thought I'd end up here, I should have not retired, just come over and make tons of HR22. Oh well ... What else? Sent my SitRep, right? Also an assessment of some sort. In each I cited the lack of internet as the biggest shortcoming here. Oh, there are plenty of wrong elements. It's hot, it's dusty, we have no flush toilets, gotta eat snacks for one meal a day, gotta take "navy showers" where you use about 30 seconds of water, soap up, 30 more seconds to rinse and you're done. And let's not forget the ever-lovely wag bag situation. But all of that would be palatable except for the lack of internet. I'm pissed because the MSW "trial" that came with this laptop expired, while I am here. I can't get online, so I can't 1) surf for Open Office (which is free and supposed to be as good as MSOffice) or 2) let Bill Gates gouge me for $$$ so my laptop will have Word and Excel. Day before yesterday? I dunno. Before that? Ditto. I sit around under the canopy, chat with the terps and marines. I have found that the red electrolyte stuff with no sugar isn't too bad. So I drink that. I fret about doing laundry before they run out of water. No water would also make it difficult to shower. I'm eating better with the brekkies.
Maybe the highlight of my day is dinner. Whatever they serve, I eat. I just go easy with the pasta and bread. Gatorade has too many carbs, but this place has oceans of Gatorade. Water is OK, but kinda tasteless. Maybe I should look more often at this log. Or journal. I can't believe it's been a week since I wrote. 1630. Maybe I should go wait to check my mail. Seems like it's always crowded there. The eight terminals were always busy. Now that someone took away four computers, it's not going to be easier to get online. We keep hoping that the setup we have here will get repaired and *maybe* someone will put up a wireless router so we can have internet in our hooches. That would be sweet. But the logistical and admin hurdles are plentiful and high. Or maybe I'll kick Chess Titan's butt some more.
Gannon 08302008
Last night I decided to write down what I'd like, my own wee personal "Best of all Possible Worlds." So here goes- In ten months, I'd like to be home with a chunk of cash- maybe as much as $70K of my own money. I'd rest up a bit, then take my trailer to Texas and find a suitable domicile, sort of like the one I saw online in Llano- $116K for a 1200 sf Spanish-style home with five acres. Buy it, settle in and return to California to do something with my house and stuff. The stuff part is easier, so I'll begin with that. I'd need to get a 40' trailer on a chassis and park it in the driveway so I could load it with all my garage. Whatever space is left over can be for the stuff I want- my bed, some storage stuff, maybe the dining room furniture. I recall we packed a lot of HHG in four lift vans that came out of a container. Cars? Well, that might require a second container. Stop a second and look at the costs- about $2500 for a container, about $3000 to drive it to Texas. So about $11K to take two containers. That's expensive. But the good part is, I'd have two containers to use as the basis for constructing another home. And I'd have all my stuff.
In this best world scenario, I'd also have Richie and Kimmie to help make the move. We'd put the Biscayne and the LTD in one container, tow the Mazda with the 4-Runner and tow the Volvo with the F-100. That second container could also carry the last of our stuff from the house. What to do with the house? I'd prefer to rent it, so any appreciation would accrue to me and my heirs. And in only 27 years or so, we'd own this bit of the California Dream. (Never mind that I could have owned it a few years ago but for Bonnie's insistance that we *not* pay off the mortgage.) Selling is an act that can't be undone; renting today doesn't mean I can't sell at a future date. Selling today would mean about zero in equity. Renting might entail a monthly negative cash flow. The financial kicker is- can I afford three big expenses: 1) Bonnie's monthly vig (about $800), 2) negative cash flow from the rental of the house (from $1000 to maybe $400) and a mortgage on the Texas house (I probably won't have $116K to buy the house, so I may have a $50K mortgage there, too.) Let's say I have a $500 negative cash flow and a $400 Texas mortgage and Bonnie's $800 vig- that's $1700. My retirement is about $2800. That would leave me with about $1100 to live on. Not a lot, but doable. And I haven't touched my $40K in TSP. And I haven't yet received my inheritance from Gerty's house. Either of those would make my life a lot easier. And in another ten months from 08/2009, my vig will evaporate, so I'd only need to scrimp for less than a year. In July 2010, I'd get to keep about $2700 of my $2800. Who knows? The negative cash flow might get smaller and I could pay down more of my Texas mortgage.
Two people I have to consider in all this are Richie and Kimmie. If Richie should get a good job (or even a mediocre one), he'd be able to pay $1500/month (about half the mortgage) which would be cheap for a place to rent. He and Kimmie could just keep on living where we are living. Best of all worlds, she gets a job, too, and contributes more. If Richie could pay half the mortgage and Kimmie could pay half the expenses, I think we'd be fine just staying where we are. They could get married and have babies. I'd get to be a grandpa to some very cute children. Oh, I'd probably wait till my vig went away, but I'd still take my trailer to Texas, though I might just park it for a few months now and then instead of buying something. Maybe parking it would give me a chance to shop for a real deal in real estate. But back to Richie and Kimmie working- this would be very good for all of us. I'd find a way to "sell" him a part of the house, so he could have some equity. Maybe in a few years, he'd want to buy me out. At least he'd have a good place to live (and the house is a very nice place to live.) And we have a comfortable life there- we go to the farmer's markets in Hayward, Castro Valley and San Leandro, we shop carefully for stuff on craigslist, we fix our cars ourselves (mostly), and we have a good home. Richie's smoker is there, the clothes line works, the garden gets tended, we have a fireplace for cold nights, the cats know where they live, we get good TV and internet, there are plenty of bathrooms for the three of us, about one per person, and I'd even take the trouble to put in a gas line so we could cook with a gas stove. RMS is nearby for me and Richie and Kimmie may go back for another SRS slash Action in the Lowe Countries. We have a good life.
I can't force Richie and Kimmie to work. I believe they are looking for work, but they also have no severe financial incentive to succeed. As long as I'm working, they get supported by me. In fact, if they find a job tomorrow, that would be one more consideration for me- do I want to finish my contract or just leave and work out our support and finances among my retirement and their job(s)?
But back to the Great Gannon Dream: I propose that what we have in Hayward we could have in Texas. Five acres is a nice bit of land. One home already there, one more made from containers. A garage? More containers. Garden? Oh, you betcha! The cats may even get adjusted to the new place. TV, internet, yadda yadda-those are available in Texas, too. 'Twould be some work to get as comfy as we are in Hayward, but life is about work. Gotta have goals and achievments.
I also consider three others- Bonnie, Pense and Schaffe. Bonnie has made a lot of conscious choices, uniformly poorly. Pense has chosen to side with her mom in many ways for reasons that are complicated. Schaffe is the youngest, and for whom I feel more responsible because he seems to have lost out on the ability to grow up. Schaffe will have a place with me for a long time. Not because he's incapable or unable to support himself (though he is for the moment) but because he needs me to grow up. He's not going to grow up with Bonnie's parenting alone. Pense seems better, but she, too, chooses to remain dependent on Bonnie in a lot of ways. So where are Bonnie, Pense and Schaffe in this fantasy? Well, in one version, they're with me in Texas, along with Richie and Kimmie and their children. This situation would happen when Bonnie's income (mainly her share of my retirement) becomes inadequate to support her in the lifestyle to which she's accustomed herself or in any other lifestyle. Would I want to support them? I'll have to see. But it wouldn't be easy for me to abandon any of them if they needed me.
'Tis one thing to be tough in family court and another to deny them whatever comfort I could provide.
In a practical sense, if they find that their expenses are three times their income, they'll need a place to live. That *might* be with me, on my five-acre home. I might let them pitch a tent for awhile, just to underline that their spendthrift ways have brought them to financial despair. But in reality, I would try to accommodate them. I'd have the small home and the trailer. The three of them could sleep in the trailer while the rest of us slept in the house. And if I had completed the container-based home, that would also be an option.
Similarly, if Richie and Kimmie get jobs and contribute to the Hayward home, we might allow the other three to live with us there. The effect of Bonnie moving back to a home she left *as a dependent* would be intense. None of us are very good at biting our individual tongues. Who would tell Bonnie that there are rules? Who'd intimate that her financial ruin is due to her fiscal foolishness? And would Kimmie make a point of being the Lady of the House while Bonnie would be merely the impoverished in-law? I think Richie and Kimmie could have the master bedroom. Schaffe could have my room, perhaps infusing himself with my aura. Bonnie and Pense, two emotional clones, would have to share Richie and Kimmie's room (where Richie and Kimmie lived happily for a long time) and I'd have the option of sleeping in the sewing room with some clutter or in my trailer where I'm confident I could be quite comfortable. (After all, I'd have my own bed, toilet, shower, kitchen and two televisions. The garage and garden would still be my domain, though Kimmie would have free access to the garden and Richie to the garage. Moving back in with me would demonstrate to Schaffe that laziness and sloth are not as good at providing for oneself as work and thrift. And if Bonnie moves back in, I'd have some big-ass televisions to put up in the house. I might charge her rent, payable in televisions. After the rent is used up, I may buy a car from her and allow her to pay me her rent from that price. Once she's out of cars, we'll see about buying her inherited Auntie Rosie's house. Not sure I want it, but it might have some value on the real estate market. Of course, it's also possible that Bonnie will have already lost the house through one refinance or another. Removing them, if life becomes difficult, could be a problem. If Bonnie tried the "I have tenant's rights" business, that would gall me a lot. But going down that road requires the long-range crystal ball. Right now, mine is very short-range. Fantasies glow rosy in my crystal ball.
So there we are- either continuing to live in Hayward with Richie and Kimmie's contributions or taking whatever cash stash I have and moving to Texas. Remaining in Hayward requires little logistical planning- just keep living where we have been happy. Moving to Texas (or somewhere other than Hayward) will be difficult- finding a good place, packing and transporting a big houseful of stuff and starting a new life, with our without Richie and Kimmie. Somehow, having Richie and Kimmie in my future seems a good thing. They've become my family. This takes us to the strictly emotional realm but merits a few synapses worth of effort.
Before Iraq, the three of us were happy together. We ate, slept, worked and played together. Though not 100% free of stress, we were mostly happy. We get along. Kimmie and Richie are a couple; I'm a single. But we feel like we can trust each other and not be embarassed with each other. Defining what a family has can be difficult. We're not a traditional family. But we are emotionally a family. Richie likes to visit Kimmie's mom and stepdad, but it's about visiting, not living with them. I believe Richie likes living with me and I'm pretty sure I like living with him. Richie finds fault with me but he loves me. And it's about coming home in the evening and having someone there tell you "I love you" with some sincerity that makes a house a home. Kimmie lets me get close to her, but I'll never be her dad. Maybe that's better, because I can remain Rich, whoever that might be. If we had another $2000/month, I think we could be fine together, just the three of us, right where we are. But I can't plan my future based on someone else's behavior. If Richie and Kimmie don't find jobs, then my life probably won't remain in Hayward. Thus the Texas connection. I believe I could afford to live in Texas on what I'd have left after Bonnie's vig, the negative cash flow from renting my house and a small mortgage for the house in Texas. Since this is still a fantasy, let's continue in that vein: I'd like to have photovoltaic power for my trailer so I could run the trailer without electrical hook-up. Still need water and sewer, right? Gotta touch base with the locals there, but I could dig a septic tank and drill a well. Power for the well might be a problem but might be soluble with a few $$$ thrown at the problem. Ditto the water and sewer. And the occasional tank of propane would cost, too. Could I learn to cook on a wood stove and heat water for my shower in a wood-fired water heater? Maybe. Not sure I'd have to go all-out back-to-the-earth hippie-style "drop out of the world" mentality. With about $1000/month, I think utilities would be a soluble problem. But making some of my own resources appeals to me. And this is a lot about emotional stuff and what appeals to me. I have a few square feet of roof above Last Resort- would that suffice to power lights? Probably. If I build a house out of containers, we're talking about increments of 320 square feet of roof, easily used for PV panels. Probably more than enough space, but the cost of the panels becomes a factor. And the house in Llano probably already has utilities of some sort in place. No need to change much, though a solar water pre-heater might be an economical idea. At least a project for the frugal homeowner, no?I could end this train of thought right now, but I'll summarize and come back to it another time. Staying in Hayward is simpler but requires some additional regular income. Without that income, moving somewhere else seems unavoidable. If it's Merced or Grass Valley or somewhere similarly a couple of hours away, it'll still be more expensive than I can afford. Affordable pretty much means somewhere a couple of days away. Could I find someplace east of Bakersfield? Maybe. But would I want to live there? It used to be all about proximity to Schaffe, with the concomitant access to my small son. I'm getting to where his future seems beyond my control, so access (and the daddy-like "here's how to live your life" influence) seem more and more remote. Thus my focus may be more on being comfortable in my old age than in being near and being a positive influence on my small son. And I can't ignore the possibility of having Richie and Kimmie live with me if they don't find jobs. I really hope they do. But I'm comfortable enough with them around me that if they want to live frugally, the three of us could survive on my retirement. Would I have more disposable income of my own if I didn't support them? Sure. But I'd rather support them and have them around me as my family than just count my bank balance with them 2500 miles away. And maybe even Bonnie, Pense and Schaffe fall into that category. One of the wiser things I learned from going through the divorce is that you can only stress yourself if you stress over a failure to control someone else's behavior. I love Richie and Kimmie enough that their work behavior (meaning they don't have jobs) isn't enough to make me abandon them. Pense and Schaffe, too. I am still very pissed with Bonnie, but I don't know that I'm so pissed I'd not help her if she needed it. I'd just have to be very, very careful with what I tell her and how I give her anything. What are the factors here? Money. Location. Mortgages. People. Responsibility. My age. Vehicles. Stuff. Behavior. Ah, the whole thing goes on and on, doesn't it?
# posted by rich @ 2:16 AM 
