Friday, July 13, 2007
Language and Ethics
From an email to my 15-year-old son:
Feel free to let yourself go and read this.
Get ready for some historical philosophy. Nearly a half-century ago, my dad and I were talking about something. I can't remember what we said, but I think the topic had something to do with sex. I had a girlfriend, and maybe I was talking to him about her, or maybe it was something to do with "sin" and "morality" and sexual behavior in a changing world, I don't quite remember. We disagreed on something, I made my point by driving it with a rhetorical slegehammer and he called me a "libertine." I think this was his way of settling the discussion rather than deal with me, a fair debater. And maybe this was his way of dealing with the fear that happens when your children don't share your values.
But forget for a moment how argumentative and rhetorical I can be and think a bit about what was going on- he was supporting a traditional morality while I was on the side of contemporary 60's behavior. I was a bit of a counter-culture crusader and he was a staunch traditionalist. Got the image? Good. But let me fill in a few pixels for this image- This was a time when Sonny and Cher were on TV, playing with the notion of young people and change, especially moral change; Lawrence Welk was on TV, too, slickly emphasizing traditional values. Each was compelling it its own way and each repelled the other through example and by Nielsen ratings. Cher grinned at the sexual inuendo, hinting with a twinkle in her eye that sex was good, pleasant and enjoyable as she bantered with Sonny. Lawrence Welk and everyone on his show were asexual, except that, in accordance with current ethical values, men danced with women, though in strictly a "correct" manner. This was a time when many things were "hip" or "square," depending on where you stood.
I don't recall where our conversation ended, just that my dad called me a "libertine." If you look at Merriam-Webster's entry, you'll see that there's an element of self-serving gratification in this word. If you (that's the lexical, grammatical "you") choose to eat an excessively expensive ice cream, I don't think that rises to the level of a libertine. But if you behave in such a way that you indulge your vices, especially the carnal ones, then you may be libertine. I think the lexical trouble with this word is that individual choices seem paramount in so many areas today that it would be difficult to find a situation in which you could be a libertine.
And you have only us children of the 60's to thank for this. We took the concept, "If it feels good, do it!" and made that acceptable. I think in the 40's and 50's, there were firmly established concepts that one dared not violate, most of them with sex, which is supposed to feel good. This seems to create some inherent conflict, no? Sex feels good, but you shouldn't do it. But if you marry an acceptable person, then it's fine. I think there are few of those social restrictions left. If you can articulate any, good on ya! That means you're growing up, you're finding your values. Of course, you might find that others don't share these values 100%, but that doesn't minimize your values.
This makes it awkward, doesn't it? You could have a value that your peers don't share. Does that make you wrong or them right? I don't think so. The trick to living in harmony wth others is to accept them as people and allow them to have their own values. But this, too, comes with age, small son. You'll learn it. You've got the intellectual capacity.
OK, enough about this word. Reading it took me back a lotta years, and I wanted to talk to you about me and my history with my dad.
Feel free to let yourself go and read this.
Get ready for some historical philosophy. Nearly a half-century ago, my dad and I were talking about something. I can't remember what we said, but I think the topic had something to do with sex. I had a girlfriend, and maybe I was talking to him about her, or maybe it was something to do with "sin" and "morality" and sexual behavior in a changing world, I don't quite remember. We disagreed on something, I made my point by driving it with a rhetorical slegehammer and he called me a "libertine." I think this was his way of settling the discussion rather than deal with me, a fair debater. And maybe this was his way of dealing with the fear that happens when your children don't share your values.
But forget for a moment how argumentative and rhetorical I can be and think a bit about what was going on- he was supporting a traditional morality while I was on the side of contemporary 60's behavior. I was a bit of a counter-culture crusader and he was a staunch traditionalist. Got the image? Good. But let me fill in a few pixels for this image- This was a time when Sonny and Cher were on TV, playing with the notion of young people and change, especially moral change; Lawrence Welk was on TV, too, slickly emphasizing traditional values. Each was compelling it its own way and each repelled the other through example and by Nielsen ratings. Cher grinned at the sexual inuendo, hinting with a twinkle in her eye that sex was good, pleasant and enjoyable as she bantered with Sonny. Lawrence Welk and everyone on his show were asexual, except that, in accordance with current ethical values, men danced with women, though in strictly a "correct" manner. This was a time when many things were "hip" or "square," depending on where you stood.
I don't recall where our conversation ended, just that my dad called me a "libertine." If you look at Merriam-Webster's entry, you'll see that there's an element of self-serving gratification in this word. If you (that's the lexical, grammatical "you") choose to eat an excessively expensive ice cream, I don't think that rises to the level of a libertine. But if you behave in such a way that you indulge your vices, especially the carnal ones, then you may be libertine. I think the lexical trouble with this word is that individual choices seem paramount in so many areas today that it would be difficult to find a situation in which you could be a libertine.
And you have only us children of the 60's to thank for this. We took the concept, "If it feels good, do it!" and made that acceptable. I think in the 40's and 50's, there were firmly established concepts that one dared not violate, most of them with sex, which is supposed to feel good. This seems to create some inherent conflict, no? Sex feels good, but you shouldn't do it. But if you marry an acceptable person, then it's fine. I think there are few of those social restrictions left. If you can articulate any, good on ya! That means you're growing up, you're finding your values. Of course, you might find that others don't share these values 100%, but that doesn't minimize your values.
This makes it awkward, doesn't it? You could have a value that your peers don't share. Does that make you wrong or them right? I don't think so. The trick to living in harmony wth others is to accept them as people and allow them to have their own values. But this, too, comes with age, small son. You'll learn it. You've got the intellectual capacity.
OK, enough about this word. Reading it took me back a lotta years, and I wanted to talk to you about me and my history with my dad.
# posted by rich @ 8:57 AM 
